FUNNY WHEN THINGS POP UP: THE TALE OF LESSONS LEARNED IN BELOVED CHICAGO.
It's funny... you never know exactly when, where, or how your experiences will pop up. You never really know just how deeply you were impacted and how much you learned from these summers... until something unexpected happened. And funny... how the lesson you learned comes from what culture would tell us is a very unlikely teacher.
Sitting in a job interview this morning with United/Continental Airlines for a Cargo Sales Agent position, the two men interviewing went to one of their final questions. "This company holds four main cornerstones. One of those cornerstone which we take VERY SERIOUSLY is the topic of respect. Tell us a time when you were disrespected or treated with a lack of respect, and how you responded."
Without hesitating... I let out a little chuckle. "This is going to sound crazy, but the first and biggest thing that comes to mind are my little seven year olds (referring primarily to Carl and Carlton, but really to all my kids of all ages at CCO) from my time in Chicago. I know I know, it sounds silly and even makes me laugh... learning about respect from a 7 year old..." (they both smiled and had a little laugh, sat back but certainly showed interest).
"You see..." (I started in), "Each week a new group would come in... with two adult leaders and a handful of high school kids to be there to work with these 30 kids" I tell them. "And each week, leaders would come in and try to demand respect. But you see... you can't DEMAND respect... not even with a 7 year old, not because you're an authority figure... you must EARN it, even with these kids."
"To earn respect... you have to give respect. You have to be humbled in realizing that even from a seven year old in a homeless shelter... you have something to learn, you are constantly a learner. These kids had far more experience and knowledge of the situations they were in and what they needed, than any of us did."
"I earned respect... I listened to them, I took their advise, I realized it was a give and take and the need to build relationship. I failed at times. It gets crazy trying to discipline 30 kids at once and constantly breaking up fights. But in those moments when I failed, even to a seven year old... you have to own up to your mistake and apologize."
"My kids, always got in fights, you had to teach them, while some people may tell you if you get hit you hit back, that's not how we're going to do it here, and work with them to find ways to stop..."
"I see it as the same with everyone... you can't DEMAND that respect, you have to earn it... through listening, through learning, and from showing it and sharing it to others.. to everyone.. even a seven year old."
Maybe it was bad to use my kids as an example of respect, of being disrespected, and handling it... and who knows if I'll get the job and if an answer like this may negatively impact it (I didn't word it as structured and eloquently during the interview, as I was nervous since I really wanted to get the job)... but regardless... I feel I did my kids justice, I feel I showed them due respect in recognizing the lessons I learned from them... yes, some rough seven year old living in a shelter in Chicago. (They ended up asking me to expand on the situation, a bit about the shelter and the kids I was working with and seemed interested in it... I talked about Chicago a fair amount). Such a great lesson, summed up in the short, upset words of my beloved kids (talking about one of the leaders); "Why I gotta respect him when he don't respect me...?" Want respect? Better be giving respect...
Funny... you never know just how deeply you are connected to and impacted by the city... and even from the seemingly most unexpected teachers.
