Step Out into the Storm

In case you hadn't noticed, the world around us is fragile....ever changing and leaving the heart and mind spinning wildly. The sure bet consistently fails, what seems stable and safe...crashes and falls, leaving confusion and heartache in its wake. Grown men are turned to children...and the only thing that remains constant is the presence of unanswered questions. Doubt and lack of trust seems to be the theme...

Once again, this wandering heart is left wondering about home....about the future...about itself. Doubts creep in, questions dance around my mind bringing storm clouds to a sunny day. Any moment I have to rest is the most restless time I have...unsettled deep in my soul. But God has once again done what He loves to do...and prove himself ever so faithful. Once again...song lyrics jumped to my mind, as He loves to so often speak to me through. This time it rang through the beloved home town tunes of Five Iron Frenzy, and their classic "Every New Day." The chorus leaves the lips of Mr. Roper, cut through the air, slide through my ears, and land in my heart. "Dear Father, I need you, Your strength my heart to mend. I want to fly higher, every new day again." As I sit here and think of my need to be strong for those around me, as I think of the need to be "on," or even the simple desire to be ok....it's not from me. I have a Father who has the strength to mend my heart and heal my wounds...to take this mess and make a new day. As the burdens pile up on my back and my shoulders grow weary and droop to the ground....He increases and lifts me to new heights.

He continues to show me...that in my struggles, in my brokenness, He is strong, and gives me strength from a well so deep, not even me and my misery, my at times self-loathing, my confusion and heartbreak...could tap it dry. So deep, that I myself can not reach down to drink from it, but only when I rest in His huge arms will He open the flood gates and shower me in His grace and mercy. Through the smile of a child, the presence of a dear friend, or the simply because God decided in this moment He wants and needs me to be strong...the burden seems to slip away into His huge arms and is replaced with a strength and peace that I cannot explain.

I find myself most at home in thunderstorms, when chaos is all around, when God's incredible power is shown in the bolts of lightening and earth shattering thunder...when the rain soaks anything daring enough to step outside. And there it is...in the midst of the storms of my life...am I willing to step outside and see His awesome power, majesty, and glory? Can I let go of my fears and my deep desire to cling to comfort and wander out into His rain, allowing myself to be soaked in His shower of grace and mercy? Or will I stay inside, wrapped in fear and anxiety, shrouded in grief and missing out on the freedom that comes with simply letting go and stepping out the door? I want to go dance in the rain.